The careful sister
by theajoy
Summary: They are open about their relationship. Not the student, teacher realationship, but their friendship. But their true feelings are inside the four walls of Ezra Fitz's apartment. They can't tell anyone the burning love they feel, they can't even tell each other!
1. Chapter 1

**Two years earlier**

I walked down to the kitchen with sleepy steps. I felt nauseous just thinking about food, I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast yesterday. My vision was blurry through my sleepy eye locks. As I reached for the refrigerator door, I heard someone moving behind me.

"Hey!" I jumped back, and in the jump, I hit my head on the half-open fridge door. In front of me was a tall, black haired, blue-eyed guy, probably one of Mikes friends.

"I didn't mean to scare you. Does it hurt?" He smiled and looked at me concerned. What was supposed to hurt again?

"Your head! Does it hurt?" He made a nod towards the side of my head where I hit the door. I had forgotten all about my pounding head as there was a handsome guy standing in front of me.

"Who are you? Are you one of Mike's friends? What are you doing in our kitchen?" The questions just stumbled out of my mouth. I was nervous, what if I made a bad first impression?

"Lots of questions at once! Yes, I'm one of Mike's friends. We got a little drunk last night and I kind of passed out on your couch when we got back here." His voice was so smooth. I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't take my eyes of his bare chest.

"Typical Mike too get drunk! Let me guess, three beers, a bottle of whiskey and five girls?" I grabbed an apple from the fridge and took a large bite.

"Believe it or not, he kept it to just two girls last night!" He was right, I didn't believe it. Mike had probably been screwing all the girls at Hollis, twice!

"I can't believe that the girls put up with it! I mean, how attractive is it that he has already slept with a hundred girls, and that was when he finished High School." The apple tasted like plastic so I threw it in the trash and turned back to him.

"You didn't answer my first question! Who are you?"

"I'm Ezra!" He smiled and then bit his lower lip. My God, he was hot.

"Don't you wish you could go to parties, get drunk and your parents can't say anything about it?" Get drunk? Really, no!

"I don't drink, and I don't go to parties!" I remembered the one time my friends and I went to a party, the memory made my head spin.

"I don't believe that! I've heard that you and Mike are quite alike, not the complete opposite. I mean, your brother is the king of parties, you must have some of that in your blood!" I just sighed and started walking up the stairs.

"It was nice to meet you Aria, I do hope you _are _the complete opposite of your brother." We looked at each other for a moment.

"It was nice to meet you too Ezra, and I'm glad your are _not_ like my brother."

* * *

I heard a hard knock on my door. I was so tired of everyone at Mike's stupid party, asking me where the toilet was.

"Go away, this is not the toilet!" I continued reading in my book.

"I know it's not the bathroom. Could you open up?" Ezra's voice was soft behind the door. I could hear that I had already been drinking a bit too much. I made a mark on the book page and then forced myself of the bed. When I opened the door I could smell cheap beer mixed with sweet perfume.

"Where do you keep the aspirin in this house?" He looked at me and I could see the desperation in his eyes.

"We keep them in the kitchen, but they are probably long gone in the stomachs of somewhat twenty druggies down there. But I have some here!" I found the aspirin and gave it to him. He swallowed two pills with a mouthful of beer.

"You know, if your head hurts, it's probably because you've been drinking, and drinking even more won't stop the pain!"

"It's not the alcohol! My girlfriend is making me nuts! She thinks I'm cheating on her. She probably thinks I'm up here to screw one of her friends. Gosh! She is so naïve!" I sat down on my bed and he did the same.

"Why can't girls just trust their boyfriends? I mean, she have never seen me cheat on her, and I never have been cheating on her! I have been honest with her since the day I met her! I can't say the same about her. She's been screwing Mike four times since we started dating."

"Then why are you with her?"

"I honestly don't know. I should probably break up with her, but, she's very important to me, she was my first love!"

"Ezra!"

"What?"

"You just said _was! _Don't you love her anymore?"

"I can't love her after what she did! She slept with my best friend; you can't love someone after something like that. However, I do care about her, and I want her to be happy, even if she hurt me. She deserves to be happy, she really does." Ezra was utterly amazing; his heart was so kind, even to the person who hurt him.

"Then let go! If you believe that she deserves to be happy, then let her be happy. And you deserve to be with someone who don't throw your love on the ground like its yesterday's dinner!" A single tear made its way down his cheek. He really did care about her, even after what she did.

"Thank you! How the hell did you do that? I've been going back and forth with this for months and you made it so easy for me to choose just by saying three sentences."

"I guess I'm good at finding the right words!" We smiled at each other before he took a sip from his beer.

"Can I have some of that beer?" I pointed at the almost empty bottle in his hand. What was I about to get myself into?

"I thought you didn't drink!" He just looked at me very confused, but then he gave me the bottle and I drank it in one shot.

"Wow, slow down a little!" He started laughing and took the bottle away from me.

"I figured that one party wouldn't hurt! It is summer, all my friends are on vacation and I feel like doing something totally out of my comfort zone! Now, why don't we go down and join the party?"

We made our way down to the living room and headed for the 'bar'. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and then handed it to me.

"I prefer whiskey over beer! If you want to really go crazy, then whiskey is your best friend." I poured a quarter of it down my throat in one shot. It was burning, as it made is way down to my stomach. It was like drinking fire, although the whiskey was ice cold! Something clicked inside my brain and I suddenly felt the need to dance. Normally I didn't like to dance.

Ezra and I danced for what seemed like hours. Then Mike looked at me, with the whiskey bottle in my hand. This was about to turn into the worst night of my life. Well, second worst!

"ARIA! Why the HELL is there a whiskey bottle in your hand?" My brother always drank, but when it came to me, he wanted to protect me from everything. Drinking, parties and sex.

"I just wanted to try it, just once! Give me a break; you know I won't make a habit of this!" That was when I felt my stomach twist inside of me. I couldn't move, I was to sick! I vomited all over the floor. Whiskey + crazy dancing + second time at a party, not a good combination.

"Ezra! Help me get her to the bathroom." His voice was softer now, more concerned than angry. He and Ezra supported me on each side and got me of the floor.

"Everyone out! The party is over!" Mike screamed and for some reason people actually listened and they started walking towards the door.

I had never felt as sick as I did now. My hair was up in a messy bun and reeked of the smell of vomit. I wrapped my arms around the toilet seat once more. I was exhausted from all the vomiting, then I looked up to meet Ezra's concerned eyes.

"Don't ever let me drink again!" Then I threw up once more.


	2. Chapter 2

Now

I looked at my phone. _7.55. _Shit! Shit! I was going to be late the first day of school. I ripped the blanket of me, and then shivered of the cold air in the room, touching my skin. I took the first thing I could see in the closet and dressed in a hurry.

"MIKE! Can you please give me a ride to school, I'm already extremely late!" Mike stumbles out of his room and look at me confusing.

"And why are you late?" He grabbed his keys and we hurried downstairs.

"I overslept. I was up finishing my story." I didn't fall asleep until 3 am this morning. It just felt like the right time to finish the story I had been working on for forever. I felt proud, I had written 261 pages, it wasn't just a story, it was a novel, I had finished a novel.

I tapped my finger on the dashboard all the way too school. This was the first time I'd been late, ever. We got a new teacher in English, maybe he would cut me some slack if I told him I had written a 261 page story. We had all heard the rumors about this new teacher; he was very young and apparently very handsome. I'd have to see that for myself.

* * *

I opened the door to the classroom, trying not to make too much noise. That plan failed completely, the door shrieked when I opened it. I shut my eyes, waiting for the harsh tone of an angry English teacher.

"You're late on the first day, not a good way to start the year!" The voice sounded so familiar. Where had I heard that smooth voice before?

"I am very sorry, I over slept, I assure you sir, it will not happen again." Then the teacher turn towards me and I am in shock. The smooth voice! Of course, it couldn't be any other than, Ezra! We stare at each other. It had been two years since I'd seen him. After the night of the party he never visited Mike again. I still wondered why he had just disappeared.

"Take a seat Ari… I mean Miss Montgomery." He points at the only empty desk in the back of the room. I sit down and Spencer look at me curiously. She form a 'What was that about' with her mouth. I formed back 'I'll fill you in later!'

Time passed slowly as I studied Ezra. He hadn't changed at all. He still had his cute curly brown hair, and that secretive smile. One thing was different, we was not drunk or hung-over! The times I talked to him, he was either one of them. He looked so much older in his suit and tie. I suddenly remembered something he said to me one of the few times I talked to him; _Nothing about you is fourteen years old, the way you talk, the way you look, even the way you smile makes you look more mature than half the people here._

* * *

"Okay, you are all dismissed. Miss Montgomery, may I speak to you?" Ezra's voice ripped me back to reality, back to the old classroom. I waited until all the other students were out of the room, then I walked up to him.

"Mr. Fitz! Huh, sounds a little weird. Last time I saw you, you were handing me a bottle of whiskey, later causing me to throw up so much that I thought I'd never get the smell of vomit out of my hair." I smiled jokingly, and he did the same.

"Aria. It's very nice to see you again!" He laid a pressure on the word _very_, as if we shared a secret no one could know about.

"Why did you just disappear?" I forced my tears back. It really hurt me when he left without saying goodbye or anything, and no one told me why he left. I didn't know him for that long, but we had some kind of connection, a connection I could not describe.

"I think your brother would like to tell you himself." He looked at his hands nervously.

"He won't tell me, no one tells me anything. They treat me like I'm some kind of fragile crystal ball." I should not have said that! That had nothing to do with him disappearing.

"And why do they treat you like a crystal ball?"

"It is nothing! I should not have said that. That doesn't have anything to do with you leaving. It was something that happened after you left, something I can't explain." There I was, opening myself to someone I hadn't talked to in years, someone I had only known for a few days.

"I have to say that I didn't want to leave, it was not my choice. You are the only one that understands me Aria, even if you are a lot younger than me." My lips formed into a smile, and so did his. Do you just know when you have found the person you can be completely honest with? I believe that there is one person out there, one person that will understand you, listen to you, and be there for you until the day they close their eyes for the last time. I believe that Ezra is that person to me!

"I would like to talk more, but the bell will ring in just a minute and I have chemistry!"

"It was very nice to meet you again Ezra." I gave him the brightest smile and then walked out in the corridor.

* * *

"Tell me, you have to tell me what happened in there, because that was very awkward." Spencer was practically jumping up and down, longing for me to tell her. She was never like this, but she had been drinking a lot of coffee just in lunch break.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but try not to gossip to everyone about it." She pretended to close her mouth with a zipper and threw the keys away. I told her that Ezra was friends with Mike, that I we were almost like longtime friends, and then I told her about the day I met him. I left out the party, she wouldn't be too happy about it after what happened on the worst day of my life.

"So, are you going to ask your brother why he disappeared?"

"I don't know Spence. I don't think he'll tell me the truth."

"But it's worth the try, right? And maybe he will tell you now that he is back!"

"Yeah, maybe." I doubted it, they never told me anything anyway, it was better not to get my hopes up.

* * *

I sighed and looked at the cover of the book Ezra had given us. _To kill a mockingbird_. He gave me his copy of the book the day I met him. He told me that there was ninety-nine percent chance that I would be reading that book in High School. He was obviously right. The book was good, but my heart wasn't in it right know. I turned on my computer and found the novel. The first heartbreak was it called. The title was bad, but it summed up the novel pretty good.

"_I love you!" I was crying, my eyes burned and I could barely see his face trough the tears. I finally said those three words, but it was too late. Why did I say that, it wasn't even true, I just wanted him to stay. _

"_Well, I don't love you! You are so screwed up." Why was I screwed up? Just because I didn't want to have sex with him? I wasn't ready, he had to understand that. I was only fourteen, how could I be ready? It was easy for him, he was seventeen. He had probably slept with many girls. _

"_Is that all you want from me? Sex!" I cried even more as I said the words. _

"_Yes!" What? How could that be true? All the times I kissed me, it was so passionate. He was the one person that told me that I was beautiful, and that I deserved the best. I felt his hands on my face. I wiped the tears of my cheek, waiting for an apology. It never came. Instead I could feel his hands let go of my face and grab my arms. He pushed me against the wall as I tried to fight it. _

"_HELP!" My scream faded into the darkness around me. Please! Please let someone hear me! _

* * *

**Authors Note:** **Give me a review so I can know if I should upload more chapters! Thank you for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"No. No. Please don't!" I wanted it to stop, and I wanted it to stop now.

"Aria! Aria, wake up." Mike's voice sounded like it was miles away. Patrick was just getting closer and closer. Something touched my arm.

I woke up, I was crying and my bed was soaked in sweat. The nightmare felt so real, they always did.

"Aria, it's okay, you are safe! He's not going to hurt you, you're safe here." Mike put his arms around me, trying to calm me down. I started to cry even more. Why couldn't the nightmares just stop? It was one and a half year ago, I wanted it to stop.

"Mike? Can you tell me something, and this time be completely honest with me?" I wanted answers, and I wanted the truth.

"What happened to Patrick?" I could feel Mike freeze. This was not the question he had expected. I didn't even expect to ask the question. It just slipped out of my mouth. Did Patrick go to jail? Or did he just disappear?

"I don't know Aria; I don't know what happened to him. And you should not worry about that."

"Can you answer another question then? I know you have the answer to this one!" He just moved his head in a yes and sat on the chair beside my bed.

"Why did Ezra leave?"

"Are you sure you want the answer?"

"Yes, of course I want the answer to the question I have wondered about for two years!"

"Okay. I was worried about you. He should have been more careful, you should have been more careful. After I found out that he told you to take the whiskey, I told him to never come to this house again. We were friends for a while after that, and then he moved to Italy for a year. I didn't want you to be around someone who let you drink whiskey when you were fourteen!"

"Oh right! What did you do when you were fourteen; you went to parties all the time. I went to that one party, and it was your party remember? _You_ should have been more careful. I drank because I knew that if I did it then, I would never want to drink again, and that is true. If you didn't let me be around him, then why did you let me be around you?"

"You're right; I should have thought that trough. After a while, I stopped drinking, because I didn't want you to be near me either. I don't know, I was stupid, and I'm sorry. But he agreed to it, he agreed that he was not a good influence to you. He was the one who made me stop drinking, for you."

"He's back now."

"Wait he's back? How do you know?" A wide smile appeared on his voice, for what I'd seen, they used to be very good friends.

"He teaches at Rosewood high, he's our English teacher!" His jaw dropped and he started laughing.

"Ezra as a teacher, I don't believe it. No! He can't be a teacher. I have to call him!" Then Mike just disappeared out of my room. That conversation took a weird turn!

* * *

"So did your brother tell you what happened?" Spencer leaned over to my desk. Class hadn't started yet and there were only a few people in the room.

"Yes, and it was his fault!" Spencer froze and just looked at me as if I had just dropped a bomb. I know that wasn't true, Mike was only the one suggesting it, Ezra was the one who actually disappeared, and they both wanted to protect me from themselves. But they had both changed now, and I didn't want to dwell on the past. The bell rang and Ezra walked in. I gave him a quick smile before I pretended to read in my book.

When class was over I stayed at my desk. When everyone was out of the room, I walked up to Ezra.

"Ezra, I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault, Mike told me what he did. Did he call you?"

"Well, it was partly my fault! Yes Mike called me, he said that he wanted to see for himself that I had become a teacher. Well, given the last time I talked to him I was just a party boy with a dream of becoming an author. He also asked me if I wanted to come by your house this afternoon and eat dinner." We just smiled at each other for a while. For those who didn't know what we were talking about, we probably looked like idiots.

"That won't be weird for you? Since I am now your teacher?"

"No, not at all, it will be fun. And I don't see you as a teacher, I still see you as my brothers best friend, minus the partying this time."

"Well I look forward to the dinner, I hope your parents does not include alcohol. I kinda still have a problem with it. Mike managed to stop drinking, but I did not. And he told me to never drink in front of you so." I just laughed. They all thought I was just some kid who would do everything that the others did. None of them really knew me.

* * *

"He is coming over for dinner, when?" Hanna just stared at me, like she didn't believe me. We were all in my room. Emily and I sat on my bed, Hanna on the chair and spencer on the floor.

"In just a few hours!"

"Aw, Mr. Fitz, I wish I had an older brother who was friends with him. The way he looks at you, it looks like he's into you!" We all looked at Hanna.

"No, he's not into me. He's way older, and he's our teacher."

"Well, older guys kinda have a thing for you, Patrick did." I tried to fight the tears that built up in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't think, I'm so stupid." Hanna made her way to the bed and put her arms around me.

"He wasn't into me, he just wanted to sleep with me, besides he was not that much older."

* * *

I heard knocking on the front door. I walked out of my room and downstairs to open it. Then I saw Mike fly in front of me to open the door. He was obviously very excited to see his best friend again; he was acting like a teenager.

"Ezra! It's so nice to see you man." They gave each other an awkward hug then started to chat as if Ezra had never left. Then mom and dad came and they both gave him a hug.

"So, Ezra how is it to be a teacher now?" My dad asked Ezra as we all sat down at the dinner table. Ezra gave me a quick smile before looking at dad.

"Well, I have only had a few classes yet, but it's great. It's amazing to see all the students writing, some of them are extremely talented." He smiled at me again.

"You should read Aria's novel, she just finished it, that's why she was late for school on Monday." I gave my Mike an angry look, before looking down at my food, embarrassed.

"You've written a novel?" Ezra was shocked; I never told him that I liked to write.

"No, it's nothing. You don't need to read it, really it's not good." Why did Mike bring that up? The entire novel was about my relationship with Patrick, I didn't want anyone to read it, at least not my English teacher.

"Ezra, why did you leave so suddenly three years ago?" My mom looked at Ezra curiously. Ezra, Mike and I froze, looking at each other.

"Mike" Ezra said.

"Aria" Mike said.

"Ezra" I said. Mom and dad looked at us all confused. We couldn't tell them that they let me drink whiskey, and then Ezra disappeared because Mike thought it was his fault. What was we supposed to tell them?

"Well, ehm. He didn't, he couldn't go out much because of all the school work. He, ehm, he was so far behind that he locked himself in the room to focus on school. And then he moved to Italy for a year." Mike stuttered out. Great, the second part was true at least. But was it good enough for my mom and dad to believe it?

"Well of course, if you wanted to be a teacher you had to work hard, you can't be a teacher and have bad grades in college!" I can't believe that my father actually believed that vague excuse.

"How was Italy?" I wanted to change the subject, and what better way than to ask him about Italy, I had always wanted to go to Italy.

"It was amazing; the difference between Florence and Rosewood is big. The pizza is much better and it was so cool to see the ruins of Pompeii and walk on Vesuvius. The language is beautiful, but the people are a little unwelcoming." He continued to tell about Florence and the classes and about how hard it was to learn the language.

* * *

**Authors Note: ****Give me a review so I can know if I should upload more chapters! Thank you for reading :) And thank you for all your previous reviews, you how no idea ho your reviwes mean to me 3****  
**


	4. Chapter 4

I just stared at the content of my locker. Why was it so hard to forget. Suddenly I was thinking about him every wake moment, no I dreamt about him to, so there were not a single second I wasn't thinking about it. I took out my English book before slamming the locker shut. A shrieking pain went from my hand and up to my shoulder. I looked at my hand and saw that the locker door squeezed half of my hand. I screamed out in pain. It hurt so much that I couldn't open the locker again, so I just stood there looking at my hand and biting my teeth together not to scream again. At least I wasn't thinking about Patrick, Oh crap, I thought about it again.

"Aria, Oh my god, how?" Spencer opened the locker to release my hand. I rubbed it with my other hand. My hand was covered in blood.

"I have to get my hand checked, can you tell Ezra I'll be late for class?" I started walking before Spencer could answer. I turned the corner when I bumped into someone.

"Aria, hi, don't you have a class, like, right now?" Ezra stood in front of me with an accusing look, before he saw my hand and regret covered his face.

"I take that back. What happened to your hand?"

"I forgot to take it away when I was closing the locker, I just have a lot in my mind right now, and I need to get to the school nurse." The pain in my hand just grew stronger.

"Of course, but can you meet me in the classroom after school, I need to talk to you about the creative writing assignment." He looked at my hand again with a worried look before walking towards the classroom.

* * *

"You wanted to talk to me" I opened the door to the classroom, worried that my writing wasn't good enough. That was my biggest fear. I hated creative writing assignments, only because the teacher actually would have to read my work, and then tell me if it was good or bad. I liked to keep my writing for myself, which was the only way to make sure no one could ruin my love for writing.

"Yes. I mean, your writing, its wow! Who taught you to write that well?"

"Mike" We both started laughing at my joke.

"Well that I know for a fact is a straight out lie, because I was the one who wrote his assignments in college. But Aria, it's really good."

"Thank you." I said looking down. What if he just said that to be nice? What if my writing actually sucked?

"You have to believe me when I say it's good! Do you think that I would lie?" It was like he could read my mind, he always knew what I was thinking.

"It's just that, others have told me that my writing sucks, and what if it does? I love to write, if everyone thinks it suck, then what am I supposed to do. I don't want people to ruin the one place where I can escape all of the bad memories."

"Your writing does not suck! You should be confident in yourself, don't care about the negative response, care about those who say your writing is good, because it is."

"I don't know, I just don't want people to ruin me again." A single tear made its way down my cheek.

"Aria, what do you mean by ruining you _again_?"

"I don't know, I shouldn't have said that, I have to go."

"You have a long way home, and it's raining, let me drive you."

"Okay"

* * *

There was an awkward silence in the air. I knew he wanted answers. Every time I talked to him I opened up a bit too much, but I would never tell him what happened. I didn't want everyone to know. If I told him, he would treat me like a fragile crystal ball, they all did. I just wanted one friend to treat me the way they used to before this happened. When I talked to him, I could still be the girl I was before Patrick, the girl I wanted to be, the girl I really were.

"You've changed! Something about you is different. You seem like you're afraid of everything. What happened?" We were still in his car, but he had stopped in front of my house.

"I know!" That was all I could say, I was afraid to say too much.

"I don't expect you to tell me what happened, but can you tell me why you won't tell me?"

"Because I want someone to see the real me. My friends and Mike, they always feel sorry for me, they want to protect me from everything. I guess that's why I'm afraid. If they would just stop worrying, then maybe I could stop thinking about it. They won't let me move on from what happened." Why did I feel so comfortable talking to Ezra? I barely knew him when he disappeared. He's my teacher, and my brothers best friend. Why did it feel like we had known each other for years?

"I get it. Mike is way over protective of you. He treats you like your eight, when you are even more mature than he is. He underestimates you!" How could he understand me so well? How could he always know what to say?

"Thank you!"

"For what?"

"For understanding me. There's not a lot of people who understands me, but you do." It was weird, the connection I felt towards him. I couldn't describe it, it was just something that had to be left unsaid. It was an impuls! I leaned over to Ezra and gave him a quick hug before getting out of his car. This was not the way you should feel towards you teachers. But He wasn't just my teacher, he was my friend. But this was not just feelings towards a friend, it was something more, and I couldn't let myself think it.

* * *

"Aria! Where have you been?" Mike stood up from the the coach and looked at me with a worried look. The look I was way too familiar with. The look I wanted to escape, just for one moment.

"I didn't get from school until now." I tried to hide my hand covered in band aids, but Mike saw it before I could put it behind my back.

"What happened to your hand? Did someone hurt you?" I was soo tired of this.

"No! I'm okay, really I'm fine! No one hurt me. This happened because of me. I was thinking about Patrick again. The moment I stop thinking about him, you or my friends bring him up. I just want to forget about him. I want you to stop asking me how I feel. I want you to stop worrying about me. I just want everyone to treat me the way you used to. Is that too much to ask for?" I ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door after me. I couldn't even make it to the bed without starting to cry.

* * *

**Authors note: ****Give me a review so I can know if I should upload more chapters! Thank you for reading :)**

******PS: I will be uploading a new chapter every friday from now on. I'm also uploading this story to **


	5. Chapter 5

"_Ezra" I said in a low whisper so only he could hear. _

"_Aria" He said in an even lower whisper. He touched my face with the inside of his palm. It was like electricity and I jumped a little from the touch. I could feel his breath against my face now as he moved closer. _

"_In the end, I always get what I want!" Ezra's soft hands hands turned into Patrick's, pushing me against the wall. NO!_

* * *

I opened my eyes in shock. I was still in my room, but I was sitting curled up in the corner behind my door. First nightmares now sleep walking, how could this get any worse? The first part of the dream was good, but it was still weird, I shouldn't feel so calm about dreaming that my teacher was going to kiss me. I was so confused. I could tell Spencer and the other girls, but they would just think I was crazy. If I told Mike, he would never leave me out of sight again. If I told my parents, no I couldn't, they didn't know about what Patrick did, they adored him.

"Aria, what are you doing on the floor?" My mom stood just inside my room and looked at me confused. I stood up and grabbed a book that was on the floor with me.

"Ehm, eh, I was reading, and my bed was so warm that I sat down on the floor." I stumbled my way through the explanation. Luckily, both my parents are very easy to trick. My mom just smiled then closed the door after her.

* * *

We were talking about some tv show that had it's premiere yesterday. I pretended to listen, but actually my mind was still on my dream. I just stared into space. I was so far away in my own world that I didn't even notice that I was drinking out of an empty coffee cup.

"Aria? Are you okay?" Spencer waved her hand in front of me and I stumbled back into reality.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I put the cup down and they all looked at me with that very familiar concerned look.

"Really? Because you've been drinking from that empty coffee cup for fifteen minutes and you don't pay any attention as to what we say!" Emily said accusingly. I wanted to tell them about the nightmares, but I couldn't, I wasn't even sure why they were coming now, one and a half year after it all happened.

"I just have a lot on my mind, okay?" I said before I stood up to get a refill of coffee. I gave the coffee guy a dollar before sitting down again.

"Well I have to go, Caleb just got back to town!" Hanna said whilst standing up.

"I have to go too, swim meet!" Emily said.

"Okay, bye!" Spencer and I said to both of them before they disappeared out of the café.

"Aria. I know something is wrong, can you please tell me! If your problem is that you don't want everyone to know, then I won't tell Hanna and Emily." Spencer said quietly, giving me the Spencer Hasting promise look. I guess I could tell spencer. She would probably understand. Except from Ezra, she was the one who understood me the best, and she always knew what to say, in any situation.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but please don't judge me." I twisted my hands nervously.

"I promise." She said before taking another sip of coffee.

"So, I've started to have nightmares about Patrick. They're not just nightmares, they feel so real and every time I wake up I'm crying my eyes out. I never told you this, but before he disappeared he said; I always get what I want! And I am so terrified, because no matter how small, he always kept his promises, even if he's a total jerk, that's just how he was. I still haven't told mom and dad, and if he someday show up on our doorstep, they will let him in right away." I blurted it all out, no pausing; I just delivered it all like it was a big bucket of water I handed her.

"But why aren't you telling them? They need to know what happened."

"I can't. Their relationship is fragile; one problem from Mike or me could ruin it all. Plus, they wouldn't believe me, it's such a long time ago, why does it even matter what they know and don't know?"

"Fine, suit yourself, but I think you should tell them, they could get you help, so that you can end those nightmares, what if it start affecting your school work?"

"It's bad enough that Mike knows about it. School work is fine, I still have decent grade. Even if it started affecting it, it would only be in English, and Ezra understands."

"Wait, what do you mean he understands? Have you told him what happened? When did you tell him?"

"No, I haven't told him anything. I even said that I wouldn't tell him. I don't want him to treat me like a crystal ball like you all do."

"Wait, are you like friends? Like, out of school, do you hang out?"

"Yes, we're friends. Is that a problem? I mean, I knew him before he was our teacher, we were friends then. Plus he is my brothers best friend, I can't treat him as just my teacher when he comes over to our house four times a week." I kept out the part about the dream, and the hug, and the way I felt inside. I couldn't tell her that, first of all, I didn't really know what I was feeling, second, if I felt what I thought I felt, then that would be a disaster.

"Wow, Aria, you're lucky. You get to have the hottest teacher in the world, in your house four days a week." I knew she was just joking, but I couldn't help but feel like she knew more than I told her, even more than I told myself.

* * *

I was sitting in the kitchen, eating a very crappy sandwich I just made. Mike and Ezra was in the living room playing some kind of shooting game. They always acted like teenagers when they were together. I liked it; it made me feel a little less guilty, thinking that I dreamt about Ezra almost kissing me. When Ezra and Mike were together, I couldn't think about Ezra as a teacher, he was just Mikes best friend. He was like two completely different people when he was in school and when he was with Mike. I preferred the person he was with Mike, the guy I came to know two years ago, the guy that I had some kind of connection with, that I couldn't quite understand.

"Are you okay?" Ezra stood in the door opening looking almost exactly the way he looked the first day I met him. I remembered his bare chest, although, now, it was covered with a grey t-shirt.

"Do you realize how many times you've asked me if I'm okay? Even now when I'm just eating a very crappy sandwich, you ask me if I'm okay."

"Oh, so that's whats wrong, the sandwich?" We laughed a little, and then he sat down in the chair across from me at the table.

"Yes, I think the cheese was out dated!"

"I'm sorry for always asking you if you are okay. I should probably start asking how you are instead."

"Yes, you should."

"So, how are you?" He gave me a little smirk.

"Except from the crappy sandwich, then I'm great. You?" I gave him the brightest smile I could, but it felt as fake as it probably looked for him.

"You don't really mean that! Something is bothering you, and it's not the sandwich." He suddenly looked serious, not concerned, but serious.

"Fine, I'm not okay! And about whats bothering me, it's you, you are bothering me!"

"Me? Why am I bothering you?" He was obviously very confused.

"No, not that way. It's what I'm feeling when I'm with you, that's whats bothering me. I know that I'm feeling something more about you than just my brothers friend, but I can't let myself think it." Oh My God. I should NOT have said that. My cheeks turned red, I was blushing, I never blushed.

"What?" Ezra was shocked, of course he was shocked. I practically just said that I had feelings for him.

"I. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that!" Oh my god, what if Mike heard what I said, he would be furious. But my biggest concern, what was going through Ezra's mind?

"It's okay. Aria, it's okay. You're allowed to feel what you feel. I also kinda think about you too as more than just my bestfriends sister, or my student. You have always been different. I have always thought about in a way that I know I shouldn't." Now I was confused, shocked, and speechless. This was just too much. Did Ezra just say that he kinda had feelings for me too? We just stood there staring at each other, shocked of what we both just said to each other.

"I know it's wrong. But I can't help but feel it!" He said and stepped closer to me. He took my hand in his and looked deep into my eyes. Then I remembered the dream. I took my hand away from his and stepped back.

"I don't know. We have to figure this out. I have to figure this out. No, I can't, it's too soon." I was talking more to myself than to Ezra. I turned my back to him.

"You wouldn't understand. If I tell you, you will understand, but you might not treat me the way you do again, you will treat me like a fragile crystal ball." The tears started to roll down my cheek; I couldn't hold them back anymore.

"Aria! You don't need to tell me. I get it, you're not ready. You've been hurt, that much I know. I would never expect you to be ready for something like this, and in theory, this shouldn't even be happening." The sound of the tv had stopped. Mike had probably heard everything. I quickly turned around to face Ezra.

"Thank you" I whispered before hurrying upstairs. As I made my way to my room I could hear Mike talking to Ezra.

"What were you talking about?" Mike said.

"Oh, she think she made a crappy sandwich, then I told her to make me one, and I didn't think the sandwich was crappy at all." Ezra said. I laughed to myself; he was great at covering it.

* * *

**I am so very sorry that this chapter is a day late. It's about seven o'clock in the evening here in Norway so I'm VERY late. I am just very busy with school and stuff, this is a pretty important year so I have to be focused. Also my inspiration has been at the very bottom. I've used all day to write this chapter, so I really hope you like it.**

**I think that this is the chapter you have all been waiting for! If you have any ideas about next chapter or future chapters I would be very happy, because I'd love some feed back.**

**Be sure to send me a review to let me know if you liked it, and if you want me to post more chapters :) Thank you for reading, it means alot to me!**


	6. Chapter 6

Every single emotion flooded trough my brain at the same time. What was I supposed to feel? Happy because Ezra felt the same? Angry because he felt the same way? Confused because he felt the same way? This was so wrong, but it felt so right. I knew that what I felt towards Ezra was real, but I wasn't quite sure what it was. We couldn't love each other. So many forces were against us; he was so much older. He was my brothers best friend. He was my teacher. It didn't matter if we felt like more than friends, we couldn't be more than friends anyway, he could go to jail, plus Mike would beat him up. But what if we never said the words? Not even to each other. Would that make it less wrong?

I found myself in front of his apartment. I knew were it was because he had the same apartment in college. I just stood there and looked at the 3b sign. What if he wasn't home? What if he had friends over? What if he didn't want the same as me? I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I could hear someone get up and walking towards the door.

"Aria!" Ezra said stunned, but then he smiled.

"Like you said yesterday, we need to figure this out."

"Of course. Come in." He stepped aside to let me in his apartment.

"Your apartment looks the same way it did two years ago." I smiled at him. His apartment was amazing, so cozy. It was the kind of apartment that you only imagine writers have, that's why it fit for Ezra. The books, the movie posters and the old typewriter. The only thing that was different was his college degree that he had placed on his desk. I walked over to the bookshelves. In one of the shelves was a framed picture of Ezra and Mike, both with a beer in their hand. I looked closer at the photo.

"Is this from the party at our house?"

"Yes, I wanted to remember not only my best friend, but you." I looked up from the picture and Ezra was staring at me. I felt my cheeks become warm, great, I was blushing. I turned towards the bookshelves again. On another shelve there was a picture of Ezra when he was a kid. He was wearing a party hat and was smiling as wide as he probably could. I laughed a little and looked back at Ezra while I held the picture to him. He wasn't looking at the picture, he was only looking at me. His blue eyes was so beautiful in this dimmed light. I put the picture back on the shelve without taking my eyes of Ezra, if I did this moment would disappear.

"Why don't forget about the fact that I'm your teacher and you're my best friend's sister for a second? Just for one moment we can be just you and me, the world around us doesn't matter." He talked so quiet; it was almost like a whisper. And for a moment, just a moment we put all the forces of the world that could bring us down behind us. He came closer and gently touched my cheek with his hand. I could feel his breath, then his warm, soft lips on mine. Our mouths fit perfectly together. It was like something dark and heavy lifted off my chest. Finally, I was able to let go of the past.

* * *

"Are you sure you have to go?" Ezra said holding my hands in his. After we kissed, we sat and watched our favorite movie, _It happened one night_. It was awkward while watching the movie, the moment had passed, and we were both thinking about the outside world again, the world where no one, not even my friends would be okay with what just happened. My friends thought it was weird that Ezra and I were friends; they would flip out if I told them. No, I couldn't tell him, I couldn't tell anyone. In order for this relationship to work none of us could tell anyone. The hardest task would be to hide it from Mike.

"Yeah, my parents are probably wondering where I am, and Mike is probably flipping out because I didn't tell him where I went." Ezra pulled me closer and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled and looked down at the floor. It was just so amazing, I felt so safe when he kissed me. I wanted to stay there forever, in his arms.

"But I can come over tomorrow, if you want me too?" He just smiled and kissed me again, this time on the lips.

"I'll see you then." He let go of my hands and I walked out of his apartment. When I was outside, I could feel the dark heavy bump on my chest again. What just happened? What we were doing was so wrong, but it felt so right.

* * *

I couldn't sleep, I was still thinking about that kiss, that wonderful and amazing kiss. Ezra's soft lips on mine, his sweet breath, the touch of his hand on my cheek. It happened so fast and was over even faster. I just wanted to kiss him again, forget about the world again, just for a moment. I couldn't take it, I had to talk to him again. I took up my phone and started texting him.

_Can't sleep. Thinking about you! ;)_

_-Aria_

I waited for only a half minute until my phone buzzed.

_Can't sleep either. Thinking about your beautiful brown eyes!_

_-Ezra_

I smiled when I read the text, he was so kind. Suddenly I felt so tired, but I wanted to keep texting him, but my eyelids was about to shut down like blindfolds.

_Don't know what you did, but now I'm half asleep._

_-Aria_

I closed my eyes, but they shut open when my phone buzzed again.

_Well, Good night then! Sleep tight beautiful!_

_-Ezra_

I fell asleep with the phone in my hand and a smile on a face. Things had changed so fast.

* * *

**I know this is a short chapter, but I wanted to give you an update as soon as I could. I've been struggeling with this chapter and written it over and over again. I've also been very busy with school, and I've been sick, and I'm so sorry for not updating last week, I hope it won't happen again.**

**I could really need some help from you guys! If you have any tips and ideas of the upcoming chapters than I would love to hear them. **

**As alway I love your reviews and thank you for being patient. Thank you for reading :) **


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